LONDON, APRIL 1st: Greenpeace unveiled its secretly developed wind-powered shrink ray technology this morning, by deploying a crack team of mini-activists to drop a banner telling Sion Touhig to stop being such a great big crybaby.
(Wire Photo © Adnan Hodge)
Originally trained to block the tailpipes of SUV's and John Prescott's Jag, the micro-climbers faced a special logistical challenge this time, by dropping the banner at dawn while avoiding being rolled on by Touhig's massive fat arse.
Luckily all survived their lardy ordeal and are undergoing a debrief and regeneration to their original size with a concentrated guarana-based antidote.
"We got so pig-sick of him whinging"
said a Greenpeace spokesperson,
"To hear him talk, you'd think he was Douglas bloody Bader or something, so we felt a radical statement had to be made"
Sion could not be reached for comment, but released a statement condemning Greenpeace's
referring to them as
"a bunch of pint sized gammy leg-o-terrorists"
and denied accusations that he'd considered having a peg-leg sourced from illegally logged Indonesian teak.